Not Your Inspiration

Being disabled in our current day society is such a strange thing. Everyone has an opinion on what you should be. Everyone has a recommendation and a diagnosis for you.

Try yoga! Try vitamin c! Do you exercise? Are you overweight? It might just be anxiety. It might be your period. It might be all in your head!

Even when they don't say it to your face you can almost see it in how they look at you.

You're too young for that. You're always sick. Wait until you're my age! You poor thing. You brave soul.

In this world you can't seem to just exist with a disability. You have to act a certain way. Act sick, but not too sick. Push through your illnesses but not so much that you seem fine. Don't talk about it, but don't never talk about it! Be an inspiration story! Be a cautionary tale.

I am none of these. I am just a person. I am a disabled person.

Some days I wake up and feel my relative version of normal. On the outside nobody can even tell. I can walk, eat, be independent, and do everything I need to do that day.

Some days I wake up and it takes everything I can to sit up in bed. Everything hurts. Everything is spinning.

Most of my days are somewhere in the middle. Maybe I need a mobility aid for errands but not at work. Maybe I can eat a normal meal but can't bring myself to cook longer than 10 minutes.

All of these days are my life as a disabled person.

I don't need or want pity for how sad my life seems to outsiders and I am not an inspiration story by any means.

Some people with chronic illnesses are able to get better and do incredible things. That is not me. I just live my life as it is right now. And that's okay!

It would be wonderful to live in a world where disability is accommodated without expectation. Someday I hope to see even a glimpse of that kind of future.

Disability will always be around. We have old age, sickness, injuries, etc. The way we treat disability needs to change. Step by step maybe we'll get there.

-Bea